The clouds proved to me that destiny does not exist

July 30, 2020

I stopped believing in destiny when I started to fall in love with clouds. Of their immensity and their way of being so spontaneous. From the way they move slowly until they invite me to spend hours finding figures in them.

And recently I understood that, by nature, the human being seeks meaning even in what does not make sense and that is why when we look at the sky I see a dragon and you see a baby.

And for that same reason you will believe that I wrote dragon to refer to a metaphor and you will wonder if there is something beyond the word baby. If everything is a coincidence or if it is destiny making me write it because I want to make you understand something.

Maybe it is. Perhaps, when looking at the sky, I seek instructions for my distant dreams that I seek to make come true. I may scan the clouds again and again hoping to find answers about where to go or if I should wait.

I may unconsciously look for concrete signs in gaseous and changing surfaces that I can only pierce by shooting them with my eyes day after day, that I project maps to follow that never really existed and then recite to myself the speech that I was born for success and everything will turn out as it should. because a superior force wrote my destiny and sent divine signs through the sky to show me my path.

But what if not?

What if I live as a villain and don't die as a hero?

And what if nothing that I think that awaits for me happens, if nothing that I sow blooms, if the rain that I wait for so much does not appear to heal my wounds and erase the scars that write on my body "it will all be worth it" marked along the path that I have followed to fulfill the famous destiny that the inner voice in my head one day promised me.

I guess it won't matter then.

And that's why I prefer to see the clouds and find different shapes in them to prove that destiny does not exist, that whatever has to happen will happen, and my only task is to enjoy the sky, the poetry, and the sea.

Ilse Ruizvisfocri