I have lost count of the days that I have woken up following the same routine due to quarantine and, inevitably, I have started to remember so many things when there was freedom of movement, especially the time I woke up in paradise.
Planning a trip to the beach sounds more distant every day. But what has always been out of reach for me and my family is an expensive beach. It sounds so meaningless, but sunbathing in Tecomán is not the same as sunbathing in Hawaii.
And I thought this almost a year ago, in the summer of 2019, when I was on vacation with my family. I remember opening my eyes and seeing out the window a palm tree and a clear blue sky. I took a deep breath and when I released the air I began to feel pain throughout my body. My skin was irritated from the sun the day before and my muscles were sore from being in the sea.
I would have liked to say that I was waking up in paradise but I was not on another continent, nor in another country, much less in another state. I was neither in Miami nor in Cancun. I was an hour and a half from home in an apartment with 9 other relatives at the foot of the beach that I have visited all my life. The youngest member was my hyperactive 11-year-old cousin who seemed to feed off the energy of the sun, and the oldest member was my 80-year-old grandmother with dementia who made more noise than a Chihuahua defending itself from an attack. So the mornings were not very calm to say the least, or at least not like I'm used to.
I remember feeling very hot and angry, a general malaise. But she wasn't sick. I guess I just woke up feeling bad and not wanting to do anything.
When I got to the kitchen, I saw that there was no breakfast as such, other than cookies and bread, which I didn't crave nor was it good for me because I confess that I was constipated (don't be scared or disgusted, it's something normal that can happen to you). pass if they spend the quarantine sitting). But my eyes shone when I saw that my mom had made coffee, and that she had tuna in the refrigerator.
And after recovering my movement and energy, I put on a swimsuit and my aunt lent me a board to bodyboard and although I had no idea how to do it, I went down to the beach to try it.
I reached the shore, the sun was shining, and the sand felt soft under my feet. And my cousins and I jumped into the sea to try again and again to ride a wave and although we fell more times than we succeeded, the simple fact of feeling the salt water was satisfaction enough. And having them around made me think about how much I love them.
And we tanned again and my skin was still burning from the day before but I didn't care and I burned again. And I ate tuna again accompanied by my family, and I started planning about everything I want to record and write.
I came back to feel the sea and the sun all over my body and when the sunset came I sat next to my grandmother to talk with her, and we counted the colors in the sky, and it hurt me to know that she is sick and I can't do anything to prevent memory loss. I hope you remember, not the moment, but the feeling, of seeing the sky and hearing the sea.
And she expressed to me that she loves me and I love her. And I asked my mom for permission to go to a party, and I saw her get angry and tell me no. And although I felt bad, I thought that I have her with me. I have my mom. And that is a privilege that not many enjoy.
And we went up to the apartment to have dinner and dance and sing and tell experiences that made me laugh so much that I could barely breathe. And night fell and with it a conversation with my 13-year-old cousin. And I was so happy to learn about her way of seeing the world.
And I go out to the living room and see my aunts and my mother happy and smiling. And through the window came the light of the moon and the sound of the sea. And I thought about the true meaning of things. And in the true value of life. And how lucky I am to have my family. And when I lay down to sleep I see through the window the same palm tree and the dark sky.
And at the end of the day, I think that that day I did wake up in paradise. And even with this quarantine, in a way I still do it.
I don't know, I hope in the future, I can take my paradise wherever I am.
I hope you are well and taking care of yourself. I love you very much.
